Mint Tea

Unfortunately the world is still full of bullies and unfortunately there are people who can’t defend themselves from them yet.

So today I will give you some tips that I told one of my patients yesterday.

Do you know why nobody yells at me at the phone? Because I hang up. Immediately. As soon the person raises his voice I hang up. In his face. If I’m in a good mood I could advise: look, I will hang up in your face unless you change your manners. But otherwise, I just hang up. And if the person calls me again I explain: I hung up because you shouted at me. If the guy complains and shouts again… I hang up again and maybe I go to step two:

I don’t answer the phone. Nothing can make me talk to anybody I don’t want to. Nothing. So I just push the red button and that is all. It’s so simple. Really. It is simple.

But what happens when you are face to face to the bully?

Pay attention: this goes with every bully, at school, at home, everywhere.

You walk away.

You turn around and walk away. Don’t stay listening shit you don’t deserve to listen. Mainly if the person is yelling at you. Nobody may yell at you. (And obviously you may not yell at people too. Unless you want to shout back, but that’s another story…). Be cool and go away.

The act of leaving a person shouting by himself is a very aggressive one. So be prepared to go all the way, until the end. It means anything can happen. The person can grab your arm; can hold you to keep you immobilized to continue harassing you. Then, you say firmly: DON’T TOUCH ME. LET ME GO! And do whatever you have to do to free yourself if you are not complied. Even ask for help and call the authorities if needed. NOBODY CAN TOUCH YOU WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION. It is illegal and you may call the police if you have to. Don’t bother going crazy. The message you have to pass is: don’t mess with me or you will face the consequences (the law, the principal, the parents, etc.).

Why do people don’t face their oppressors? Fear. But most of all because they don’t think they deserve to be well treated, well defended by who defends people. They think they are less important, they have low self-respect, so I must tell you: all people are inviolable. Our bodies are our boundaries and nobody can touch us if we don’t want to be touched. Put this idea in your mind and defend yourself. Do whatever you have to do. Don’t let anybody trespass your limits. Not once. So you will feel you are an entire person.

I don’t advocate violence. I just tell people to defend themselves when they are threatened and to avoid situations that can be disagreeable.

I am friend of a very important ProBlogger in Brazil; I think he is The ProBlogger in fact. And he expressed in his blog about my concerns about showing his feelings publicly.

So I decided to give my opinion.

Everything we do, we show up ourselves. Everything is an expression of an imagination, which is traduced in a thought that turns to an emotion that expresses itself in an action and the thing itself.

It doesn’t matter if it is a music, a meal, a piece of cloth, a post, a picture, the way you dress, a surgery (I am a surgeon), everything is art because it has something of you in it, besides the technique you need to perform the action to make the thing.

Nevertheless you attain yourself to the technique something of you shows up. And there are people who can read you. Some read you best. Others don’t get the art in what you do. Unfortunately.

And this art I call individuality, what makes us individuals, complete.

In a blog, without a question, you are on display. You are potentially exposed to infinite viewers in a magnificent concept that is the Internet. Then, you have to ask yourself: how much I would like to expose myself?

Yes, you have to make this question because it is a matter of life and death. It compromises your integrity of individual being. We have to be able to contain some issues that matter only to ourselves and nobody else. When we let this contents go free we lose our boundaries and the limits of our personalities. And the person itself ceases to exist.

If you are not able to contain some issues inside you, if they are too big for you, if they overwhelm you, you need help to strength your personality. That is why there are public and private lives. See what happened to Britney Spears, a walking wreck.

And me? Do you want to know a little bit about me? Some days I don’t post. One reason is because it is not a good day for me. I am preoccupied, angry, I am upside down, and these days I write shit. And I don’t want my shit to be immortalized and exhibited for everyone in the Internet. Who does? So I solve my problems and wait for a better day and then, I post.

I was having my breakfast this morning when Tai, my chow-chow, came and laid beneath my feet crying. I’ve squeezed his tummy and he stopped. Right after I’ve felt a terrible smell. He had farted. The diagnose was simple: tummyache. I’ve continued massaging his belly and he’s farted more untill he’d left the breakfast table satisfied.

When my dogs have any problem, physical or mental distress of any kind, they look after me. It means I am a good leader, a good mothern figure, a good reference to them. I am trustfull.

You know you are doing things right when you are the reference to people and pets you are familiar with when they are in trouble.

But pay attention: reevaluate your relationships when they come to you only with problems. You are doing something wrong to yourself.